I was struck by this:
7 As you go, preach this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven is near!’ 8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give. 9 Do not take gold, silver, or copper in your belts, 10 no bag for the journey, or an extra tunic, or sandals or staff, for the worker deserves his provisions..
Matthew 10:9, 10
These twelve, now called apostles, are commanded to go out and do amazing things. Cast out demons? Raise the dead!? But not only that, they are also asked to trust completely in God’s provision. Don’t take anything to provide for your daily needs — no money (no food?), no bag if people wanted to give you money, not even any clothing replacements should they need them — tunic, sandals, staff.
I wonder what they were thinking. This is what their rabbi did. Could they be ready to follow in the rabbi’s footsteps? This is a profound moment in their development as disciples.
And what about me? How ready am I to trust fully in God and his provision? At moments, that seems within reach. But at other moments I confess that I am grasping for ways I can handle the problem, ways where I can find what I need.
It is often confusing to me as to whether I am taking matters into my own hands when I shouldn’t be; or when God wants me to use my God-given brain to figure out what to do, or when I need to be waiting on God; or when I’m stepping ahead of God and doing my own thing, etc. It reminds me of the old tale often told by pastors…some variation of this. There was a flood. A man was on his roof top and the water was almost reaching him. He prayed for God to help him. A heliocopter came by. The man waved it off. A boat came by. The man waved it off. A watercraft came by. The man waved it off. The man drowned and went to heaven. He asked, “Lord why didn’t you save me?” The Lord said, “I sent you a heliocoptor, a boat and a watercraft…what more did you expect?” It’s like people who don’t have a job, and sit at home doing nothing…”if God wants me to get a job, he’ll bring an opportunity to me.” Would sending out resumes and networking be not trusting in God’s provision as they would argue? In the end, I’ve concluded, it boils down to doing my best to abide in him so that I hopefully have a better idea of what he wants me to do or not do.
I appreciate your thoughts, Barb! I struggle with the same thing. I’ve seen so much damage result from people thinking, “God gave me my brain (heart, feelings, instinct, etc.), my brain (et al) tells me this, therefore God must approve of it and it is his leading.” After some really tough things, I committed to not move forward in something until I know Holy Spirit tells me to. And the results are his responsibility. It’s hard when I don’t hear or don’t understand him. So I trust that he loves me and will still work for my good when I get it wrong, because he knows my heart and he loves me. This song came to mind: https://youtu.be/ABWnLjXer10
Music is always good. Spirit Lead Me. Yes!